Imagine you’re in a new social setting. There are a few people around you, but most of them keep to themselves, remaining quiet and observing. Then there’s that one extrovert, starting conversations and laughing as he goes.

At some point, he ends up chatting with you. He asks engaging questions, seems sincerely interested in your responses, and genuinely laughs at your jokes. Five minutes later, he’s off to talk to someone else.

A week later, you run into him on the street. Feeling comfortable and relaxed around him, you say hi. Soon you’re engaged in a conversation about your respective weeks, and, before you leave, you exchange phone numbers. A friendship has been formed.

Now, imagine if you ran into one of the more reserved people. Would you even recognize them? Probably not.

As humans, we love laughing. More importantly, we love people who will make us laugh. When we see our exuberant acquaintance, we’re eager to engage with him, even if just for a few moments. We love our exuberant friends!


Now, I can already hear the introverts speaking up. No, Mateo, not everyone is extroverted. Not everyone can be like that.

As an extrovert, I’m not in a position to argue with you. I don’t fully understand how an introvert’s mind works. I can, however, tell you a little about my mom.

My mom is amongst the most introverted people I know. It’s not uncommon for all her ‘people energy’ to be used up just interacting with our family of 5. Some people call me an extrovert’s extrovert; I’d have to say my mom is an introvert’s introvert.

Despite my mom’s natural propensity for introversion, she can absolutely step into the exuberant role. Her manner of exuberance is gentler than mine, but it has the same effect—people engage and want to keep interacting. More people want to be her friend.

The truth is, intentional exuberance is like everything else: it’s a developed skill. Yes, it comes more naturally to some, but it can be developed by all.

If you want to develop more friendships, an easy way to start is by being intentionally exuberant.

Try it! You’ll be amazed by how much more people want to be around you. Who doesn’t love laughing with someone who is both interested and interesting?